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My name is Jacob, a husband to a wine-blogger wife, father to two bouncy-boy toddlers, and I'm the owner/author of My Personal Finance Journey. By day, I am a scientist working in bio-pharmaceutical development. Personal finance has been my hobby since 2007 when I started teaching myself through books (that finance B.S. degree didn't teach me much!). Learning how to save, adopt a frugal mindset, and invest my own money soundly has allowed me to have a savings rate > 50%, increase my net worth by > 20 times, grow my career, and always do what I love. Check out the About Me page to learn more!
The following is a post by MPFJ staff writer, Derek Sall. Derek is the owner of the blog,ย LifeAndMyFinances.com,ย where he teaches people how to get out of debt, save money, and become wealthy.
Throughout the past couple years of chatting with various couples about money, I have noticed a shift from the words, โour moneyโ to โhis moneyโ and โher moneyโ. It seems that fewer and fewer people are combining their bank accounts and have instead decided to keep them separate.
When you stop and think about, it kind of makes sense I guess. People are waiting longer to get married and have therefore become self-reliant for many years. And, many more people are living together before marriage (with separate accounts still) and just continue to live the same way even after they do eventually get hitched. One of them covers the mortgage, the other pays for groceries, and when they go out to eat it might be a toss-up for who covers the bill. This method seems to work well for some, but Iโm still a promoter of shared finances.
When I was growing up, I remember my parents sitting down at the table once a month to do two things. One was to type up sales receipts for the cars my Dad had sold (he owned a car dealership as his side-business), and the other was to pay the bills and balance the checkbook. They held the belief that since they were married, they therefore agreed to share their possessions, which simply meant to place both of their incomes into the same account. After viewing this first-hand as a child, I have seen four positive outcomes stem from their joint account.
When people have separate accounts, it is less likely that the two individuals share a common goal. If I would split them up and take them into separate rooms to ask the question, โWhat are your goals 10 years from now? How about 30 years from now?โ it is very unlikely that they would provide the same answer.
A shared account encourages a common goal between the two individuals. If they commonly spend all of their money each month and contribute nothing to savings, they will probably ask each other the question, โWhat are we doing? And why are we not saving for something in the future?โ In other words, โWhat are our goals?โ As they both view the account, it is more likely that they would come together and spend (or rather, not spend) with a purpose for the future.
If I were married (itโs happening soon by the way) and my spouse and I decided to try and save $300 each month, but instead, I had a bad habit of spending this money on random magazines, candy, and coffee, then this would be a serious problem. The joint account would probably make me think twice about spending the money on pointless things, and would instead provide me with a new accountability partner, my spouse. This might be a nuisance in the present, but it will create a much brighter future.
Adults are sounding more and more selfish these days. Wives want more appealing dรฉcor in their house and men want new fishing rods, but each of them say, โIโm not wasting my money on that purchase. Why donโt you use your money?โ When you spoke your vows at the wedding, didnโt you both agree that whatโs yours is hers and hers is yours? Then whatโs this โmy moneyโ and โyour moneyโ business? Simply put, itโs just a whole bunch of childishness.
If, however, you both have a mindset of that pot of money being both of yours, then youโll have to come together and decide whatโs stupid for your future and whatโs smart. If you both canโt come together on a decision, then you donโt purchase the item. Simple as that. Let me tell you, stupid purchases occur much less frequently this way.
When youโre married to someone, there should be no secrets. No hidden relationships, no hidden actions, and no hidden purchases. If youโre trying to hide something, then you probably shouldnโt be doing it in the first place. Joint accounts leave everything out in the open, which will encourage each of you to stay on the straight and narrow and if that happens, it should bring you both closer together.
Many couples say that they fight much less frequently since they separated their finances, and I believe them. The only problem is that instead of being one in their marriage, they have now made themselves into two individuals that live under the same roof. Sure, there are less fights, but I believe that separate accounts are actually distancing both of you from one another. If you want to truly care for each other and build up your common goals, then I think a joint account is the ticket to get there.
What do you think? Are you an advocate of a joint bank account?
ย Share your experiences by commenting below!
***Photo courtesy ofย https://www.flickr.com/photos/exalthim/3800467037/in/
Hi folks! My name is Jacob. I am the owner and operator of My Personal Finance Journey. I started this blog in January of 2010 and have enjoyed the journey ever since. Since finishing up graduate school in Virginia in 2014, I have been working in biopharmaceutical development in Colorado. You can read more about me and this site hereโ. Please contact me if you have any questions!
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I’m definitely an advocate of the joint account for married couples for all the reasons you’ve mentioned. It can be difficult enough to communicate with your spouse about all your money issues when you share an account. Having separate accounts requires even more organization and more communication. A joint account streamlines the process while ensuring the couple is on the same page financially.
Gary @ Super Saving Tips recently posted…Financial Help for Millennials
Yes, separate accounts requires more communication….if you choose to talk about it. Many couples are living two separate lives today, spending from their own accounts and not even telling the other spouse how much money they have or don’t have. I really don’t wish that on anyone.
Derek@LifeAndMyFinances recently posted…How to Stay Motivated on Your Long Term Financial Goals
I know that not everyone agrees….and I’m all for “whatever works for you,” but my wife and I share a joint account and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We’re a team, in everything that we do – including our finances. Through discussion and mutual respect, we decide how all our common assets are used.
Travis @enemyofdebt recently posted…Want Success? Make The Choice!
Perfect, Travis! Sounds like you and your wife have an excellent relationship! Congrats!
Derek@LifeAndMyFinances recently posted…How to Stay Motivated on Your Long Term Financial Goals
We have one bank account that we do everything from. Neither of us has a separate account. I do all of the day to day tracking on everything.
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Excellent! I think that’s what my fiance and I will try to do. We are both very responsible with money, so I don’t expect it to be an initial issue. Plus, we’ll both be eyeballing out account to make sure we hit our long-term goals!
Derek@LifeAndMyFinances recently posted…How to Stay Motivated on Your Long Term Financial Goals