The following is a guest post. Enjoy!
We are constantly measuring ourselves against a standard that is unreal and ill-defined. We are told that the good life is a house with a white, picket fence, and 1.7 kids. What a crock! That completely leaves apartment dwellers out of the good life. What if you only have a chain-link fence in the backyard? Does that count? Are you disqualified if you cannot or choose not to have kids?
It is hard to tell what is to blame. We could blame TV and movies. But those stories are written by people who already had those views. Still, we have to shake the persistent cultural narrative that we are somehow incomplete if our skin isn’t smooth enough, or our hair not full enough, or our vacation isn’t exotic enough, or our car isn’t new enough, or our clothes aren’t designer enough. We are made to feel like bad parents if our kids aren’t rocking the latest fashions and highest tech.
Sometimes, we just have to be reminded that this is all garbage. We can live the good life without the vast majority of things we believe are necessary because the vast majority of happy people around the world don’t have those things. It might be time for a recalibration. Let’s start with the one thing you absolutely need, then review a few things you can, and probably should live without:
A College Education
Somewhere along the way, we, in the U.S. decided that a high-school education was all that was required. As a result of that decision, about 2/3 of Americans 25 and older do not have a bachelor’s degree. That is startling considering the percentage of people with a college degree has never been higher. Just look at the person to your left, then, to the right. If you have a degree, chances are that neither of them do. If you don’t have a degree, you are in good company with at least one of them.
A dramatically lower percentage has gone on to get a graduate degree. That means that if you are interested in architecture, a masters in architecture puts you at a distinct advantage over the vast majority of the population. You automatically land in the upper echelon by just putting in two more years of university. Even if you only get a two year degree, you cannot compete for the best opportunities without it.
A Second Car
The two-car garage suggests that your single car is insufficient. It is not. A couple really can live without a second car. There is no shame in your kids walking to the school right there in the neighborhood, or biking to school, or (heaven forfend) taking the school bus. They do not have to be chauffeured in the latest Beemer. You can get to work taking public transportation. All too often, the second car is more status symbol than actual need.
A $7 Coffee
You don’t need a $7 coffee every morning, or ever. That $35 every work week is more than your power bill. What would happen if you poured that money into your child’s college fund. They would have a lot more than a caffeine buzz and sugar high at the end of graduation. They would have a real shot at that graduate degree that would set them apart in the world.
A New Smartphone Every Year
Did you know that Apple provides major updates to the iPhone for at least four, and sometimes five years? That means your iPhone 12 will still likely be running the latest operating system when the iPhone 17 comes out. Perhaps you would be better off keeping all of your tech on the five-year plan instead of the installment plan that has you making monthly payments on tech for the rest of your life.
You already know these things. This is just a reminder that the good life is love, health, and wholeness, and nothing to do with multiple cars, $7 coffees, and the latest tech.