Your child going off to college is an exciting and life-changing milestone for you both. It’s also a time that can be marked by big feelings. Though it’s easy to get caught up in the practical matters of preparing your child for school, it’s important that you take the time to speak with them and set some guidelines for this new chapter. Talking with your newly minted undergraduate can help you make a plan for communication, set expectations around schoolwork and grades, and create a dialogue around mental health and finances.
Let’s look at some guidelines and jumping-off points to make sure you’re both prepared to navigate these new waters.
The following is a guest post. Enjoy!
Setting expectations
You might think your child is aware of your expectations for them when they go to college, but it never hurts to make sure you’re clear about what you can count on from one another. Setting expectations around touching base with home, academic performance, social events, and activities, and when to reach out for help can assuage any nerves you might feel about sending your kid out on their own for the first time. And while they might not show it, they’ll benefit from knowing where you stand.
Communication
This is also a great time to talk to your child about their needs. What level of support are they hoping to receive from you? How often can they expect you to check in on them? In what ways do they envision keeping the pathways of communication between the two of you open? Make the time and space for your child to confide in you and for you to respond thoughtfully.
Schoolwork and grades
Speaking with your child about schoolwork and grades is a must before they leave the nest. As much as they may want to spread their wings and fly, it’s also important to set some guidelines to help them focus on the task at hand and maintain a level of academic achievement you can both be proud of. Remind them of the bigger picture—while it’s fine to balance classes with social activities, staying focused on schoolwork and keeping up their GPA is their top priority.
Mental health
It’s normal for your child to experience some anxiety and depression once they’re on their own. Take this opportunity to check in with your child about their mental health and make sure they know that it’s okay to ask for help. Reassure them that you’ll be there whenever they need you and go over campus resources they might use if needed.
Finances
Lastly, be sure to check in with your child about their financial responsibility while they’re away. Address credit cards, spending limits, and any other financial support you are offering. Discuss how you’re paying for college. If they’re taking out loans, ensure they understand the terms and what repayment could look like. Being transparent can help introduce them to the world of adult finances—let them know what your contribution looks like and how you’re financing it, whether you’re using your savings, taking out loans, or using the cash value of your whole life insurance or other permanent life insurance policy.
