The following post is by MPFJ staff writer, Catherine Alford. Cat is a freelance personal finance writer who blogs at www.BudgetBlonde.com.
I am at a point in my life where many of my friends are finally making the big bucks.
They’ve worked extremely hard, and have been working long enough to move up in their work place and earn salaries that are quite high.
I, on the other hand, just started my own business, and I have a husband in medical school. While I know that we will enjoy the fruits of our labors somewhere down the line, the truth is that we are far behind many of our friends when it comes to investments like home ownership and retirement. Sometimes this makes friendships more interesting, and sometimes it makes it more awkward.
If you also find yourself in a position where you hang out with friends who make more money than you do, here are a few ways to keep things in perspective without ruining friendships along the way.
1. Treat Them to Dinner Every Now and Then
We have some very generous friends, and because they know we’re in a lower income situation, they always offer to pay for our dinners when we go out. While it’s very kind of them, we do like to feel generous ourselves from time to time! So, every now and then, we’ll invite them out on our invitation and make sure they know that we’re footing the bill. It doesn’t have to be at the fanciest restaurant in town. After all, it’s the friendship and the conversation that really matters not the price of the meal.
2. Choose Activities that Work for Both Budgets
The one thing you don’t want to do with a friend who makes more money than you is shop.
It’s no fun to go to the mall with your friend when all she wants to do is go to high end stores that you can’t afford. Since things might not be equal in terms of comfort level at the mall, do something else that works for both of you. For example, you can go to a big craft fair, a flea market, or go antiquing. You can also go play a game of tennis or a round of golf. Invite them to your yoga class or go see a movie. All of these activities are ones that won’t make you feel awkward because they should all be relatively affordable for both of you.
3. Be Happy for Them
I know it’s hard sometimes to be happy instead of jealous, especially when someone you’re close to gets a huge raise when you’ve been wanting one for years. Instead of turning green with envy, though, try being supportive and happy for them! Negativity won’t make you feel better so instead try to learn from their successes and know that your own success may be just around the corner.
4. Be Honest With Them
Some people who make a significant amount of money can be braggy. They might not even know they’re doing it so if their comments make you uncomfortable (like when your friend talks endlessly about his latest vacation or her latest shopping spree) you can always be upfront and honest and just tell them that it makes you feel down! Like I said, they may not even realize how their words affect you unless you tell them.
5. Decide Whether or Not to Talk About Money
I have this habit of talking about money a lot. Maybe it’s because it’s my job is to write about it as a full time finance blogger. Basically, because of my work, I just have money on the mind all the time. However, I have found over the past few years of being in this profession that lots and lots of people are really uncomfortable talking about money.
Often times, I wonder if it’s my own fault that I get into awkward situations with money because I’m constantly talking about getting the best deal or how outrageous my rent is or my substantial student loans.
I don’t mind discussing any of those topics, but I’ve realized that sometimes I need to tone it down because my constant harping on the high cost of med school – for example – makes some people think I’m destitute when I’m really not.
I’ve realized that when it comes to my friends, I need to make a decision whether or not to bring up money at all. You can do the same. Ask yourself: Are you going to discuss the stock market? Are you going to discuss your salary? Are you going to discuss the price of your home? Going over some of these scenarios ahead of time will help prepare you if some of these topics that might come up at the dinner table.
How about you all? Do you have friends who make more money than you do? Does it ever make things awkward?
Share your experiences by commenting below!
***Photo courtesy of https://www.flickr.com/photos/danielavladimirova/3717721508/
